FADE IN:

INT. NEW HORIZONS LUNAR COLONY

ISAAC CLARKE is LAMENTING the PLIGHT of his EXISTENCE. EARTHGOV SOLDIERS ROBERT NORTON and JOHN CARVER enter.

ROBERT NORTON

Hmm, you're unshaven and scruffy, your apartment is a mess, bottles of whiskey on the desk, your rent is overdue, and I see you've punched out your bathroom mirror. A classic case of movie depression.

ISAAC CLARKE

What do you want? Can't you just leave me in peace and let me wistfully stare at pictures of Nicole?

ROBERT NORTON

Nicole? You might want to increase the texture detail and take another look at that picture, buddy.

ISAAC CLARKE

(squints)

Wait, this is Ellie. What's going on here?

ROBERT NORTON

You two were in a relationship between games but she left you because you were unwilling to join her in the search for the other Markers. Right before we lost contact with her, she asked us to get you.

ISAAC CLARKE

Why? Ellie's been repeatedly established as a battle-hardened survivalist, she can take care of herself.

ROBERT NORTON

Actually, she's been insultingly reduced to your average damsel in distress, so she needs the help of us manly men.

JOHN CARVER

We don't have time for all this catch-up exposition, we've got incoming Unitologists! Isaac, just read Dead Space: Liberation, available at your nearest book store for only $19.99. Now let's go!

ISAAC CLARKE

And who are you?

JOHN CARVER

I'm a secondary player character. Yes, Dead Space now has drop-in drop-out co-op, because the terrifying horror of isolation is of course best experienced with a friend.

ISAAC CLARKE

I'm pretty sure I selected the singleplayer option from the needlessly convoluted main menu.

JOHN CARVER

In that case, drop-in drop-out means I just sort of drop in and out of cutscenes. Oh well, bye!

(disappears)

ISAAC heads into the STREETS, where he is ATTACKED by UNITOLOGIST SOLDIERS. He fights them using A SHITTY COVER SYSTEM.

ISAAC CLARKE

Whoa, human opponents? Cover? Combat rolls? What the fuck is this?

ROBERT NORTON

While you were moping around in your apartment, the Necromorph threat has been dealt with. This whole game is now an action shooter about fighting Unitology and its human army.

ISAAC CLARKE

FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU --

ROBERT NORTON

Kidding, kidding! Not about the action shooter part, though.

ISAAC walks into a GROUP OF UNITOLOGISTS, who SHOOT HIM.

ISAAC CLARKE

No fair! I was blinded by a cutscene!

UNITOLOGIST SOLDIER

This one's still alive!

ISAAC CLARKE

What do you mean, this one? I'm the only one here and oh wait you must be working off the co-op script. Never mind.

ISAAC is brought before JACOB DANIK, LEADER of UNITOLOGY.

JACOB DANIK

Isaac Clarke, just the man I was looking for. So good of you to just randomly stumble into me.

ISAAC CLARKE

So Unitology needed to be personified by a single character and this Elton John look-alike is what they get?

JACOB DANIK

Pretty much. Now, there is a shocking lack of screaming mutant corpses around here, so let me just free that Marker over there by blowing it up. Given that there's been very little consistency in how Markers work, I'm sure that'll do the trick.

The MARKER is FREED and starts another NECROMORPH OUTBREAK with that BWWOOOAAARRM from the INCEPTION SOUNDTRACK.

ISAAC CLARKE

How is it exactly that advocating mass suicide and creating undead monstrosities has gotten Unitology so many followers?

JACOB DANIK

We have a killer PR team. Literally.

ISAAC CLARKE

So you front a radical movement that purports to champion humanity but is actually working towards the primary antagonist's goals, which as of the third game you're trying to accomplish with the help of a standing army of brainwashed devotees.

JACOB DANIK

What are you saying?

ISAAC CLARKE

Oh nothing, just that you're very illusive, man.

DANIK points a GUN at ISAAC, who ESCAPES by THROWING HIMSELF off the BALCONY.

JACOB DANIK

Well, we can't get to him now. He's just lying there, unconscious, a full storey below and in plain sight! Let's go, everyone.

When ISAAC comes to, he is ATTACKED by NECROMORPHS.

ISAAC CLARKE

Okay, to the five or so people about to tell me that I have to dismember them, I FUCKING KNOW!

ROBERT NORTON

Hey Isaac, remember those maintenance tubes you occasionally had to crawl through in the previous game?

ISAAC CLARKE

How could I forget? I'm assuming they're still here?

ROBERT NORTON

Nope, we've done away with those. Instead, LADDERS!

Eventually, ISAAC reaches NORTON'S SHIP, the USM EUDORA.

INT. USM EUDORA

ISAAC wakes up in SICK BAY, where CARVER was probably WATCHING HIM IN HIS SLEEP.

ISAAC CLARKE

Hey, I see you're also wistfully staring at pictures of your loved ones.

JOHN CARVER

No way, feelings are for pussies! Let me just cover for that poignant moment with plenty of bluster. You did a really crappy job back there, Isaac. God, you suck so bad.

ISAAC and CARVER head for the BRIDGE and meet with NORTON.

ROBERT NORTON

Ellie's last signal came from the CMS Roanoke, which is part of the derelict flotilla orbiting the ice planet Tau Volantis.

ISAAC CLARKE

Sure, things went great for me the last time I answered a distress call from a loved one aboard a derelict spaceship.

ROBERT NORTON

Also, I think it's been a whole three minutes since you've been tossed around or violently fell off something, so brace yourself!

The EUDORA is suddenly DESTROYED by a MINEFIELD, but everyone who GOT A LINE SO FAR manages to ESCAPE to the CMS ROANOKE.

INT. CMS ROANOKE

Once aboard the ROANOKE, ISAAC comes across a BENCH.

ISAAC CLARKE

Too bad I haven't found any power nodes yet.

ROBERT NORTON

Nope, power nodes are gone too. Now you need to collect various resources to craft your own weapons and items. Your plasma cutter is now actually a plasma core mounted on a compact standard frame and upgraded with a rotator cuff.

ISAAC CLARKE

Hmm, I think I've got just enough resources to enhance my plasma whatever shots with stasis. Boss!

JOHN CARVER

Oh that's neat. Hey, check out my upgraded pulse rifle with underslung ground diffractor that inflicts fire damage with each blast. And get this, every time I reload, a poptart comes out.

ISAAC CLARKE

Where the fuck did you find that?

JOHN CARVER

I noticed you could just buy resources with real money, so I splurged. Fuck a sense of achievement, right?

Deeper inside the ROANOKE, ISAAC finds ELLIE LANGFORD and her COLLEAGUES, AUSTIN BUCKELL and JENNIFER SANTOS.

ROBERT NORTON

Ellie! Quickly slap some sugar on me. I must establish my dominance.

NORTON and ELLIE subtly establish their RELATIONSHIP by MAKING OUT right in front of ISAAC.

ISAAC CLARKE

Seriously, what a dick move.

ELLIE LANGFORD

We just figured the psychological terror of crippling hallucinations was sort of played out. There's no drama like an awkward love triangle drama!

JOHN CARVER

I'm still having plenty of crippling hallucinations over here. If only someone bothered to play me.

ELLIE LANGFORD

Isaac, I've determined that the admiral of the Roanoke went batshit crazy and started scribbling gibberish on the walls. I'm positive it's the key to everything!

ISAAC CLARKE

Paper thin, I like it.

ELLIE LANGFORD

Also, meet my team of Marker specialists who basically do my job for me and rob my character of even more action and initiative.

AUSTIN BUCKELL

That's right Ellie, you just focus on being an object of desire. Good job on the gratuitous cleavage there.

JENNIFER SANTOS

And have fun with the entire budget for animated hair! I sure do love my buzz cut.

ELLIE LANGFORD

Isaac, why don't you head for the admiral's quarters while we sit around and do nothing constructive.

ISAAC heads for the ADMIRAL'S QUARTERS and finds THE WALL SCRIBBLES.

ISAAC CLARKE

Did you guys ever think to just take a picture of this wall and mail it to me? I could've solved this riddle from the comfort of my messy apartment.

ELLIE LANGFORD

What does it say? Put your mental instability to good use, Isaac!

ISAAC CLARKE

The admiral was apparently compelled to find a key and use it to turn off a Machine that controls the Markers. It's somewhere on the planet. Let's blindly follow these instructions and utterly ignore the repeatedly established fact that Markers constantly manipulate people into doing their bidding!

ELLIE LANGFORD

We've found a shuttle, Isaac. All it needs is a remote relay, a port engine, a navigational module, a flight plan, and a new beverage holder, half of which you have to craft yourself. Be a dear and go fetch all that, would you?

ISAAC laboriously retrieves ALL THE ITEMS and gets the SHUTTLE back in WORKING ORDER. ENGINEERING DEGREES are AWESOME!

ELLIE LANGFORD

Alright, I'm a heavy equipment pilot, so I'll take the helm and get us down to the planet surface.

ISAAC CLARKE

Ha ha, don't be silly. I'm the protagonist, so I get to pilot the ship. You just sit there and call out random numbers or something.

ELLIE LANGFORD

Come on, I'm already not allowed to hold a gun. Just let me do this.

ISAAC CLARKE

I got it covered, Ellie. And in the event that I have to leave my seat and go effect any repairs during our descent, don't you dare take the controls.

The SHUTTLE proceeds to CRASH HORRIBLY, separating ISAAC from the OTHERS.

EXT. CRASH SITE - TAU VOLANTIS

ISAAC comes to and notices that he is HANGING UPSIDE DOWN in the WRECKAGE.

ISAAC CLARKE

Oh fuck, I better get out of here before someone makes an incredibly obvious Star Wars joke.

ISAAC heads out into a BLIZZARD, where he is ATTACKED by PARKA-WEARING NECROMORPHS.

ISAAC CLARKE

If you're liberally taking away from John Carpenter's The Thing, you might want to consider its pervasive psychological horror element as well, guys.

PARKA-WEARING NECROMORPH

CHEAP SCARES IN THE SNOW! BWUAAH!

(sprouts tentacles)

He comes across THE OTHER HALF OF THE WRECKAGE. Inside, he finds a CORPSE.

ISAAC CLARKE

Oh no, is it Ellie? Thank God, it's just one of the extraneous characters. Fuck that guy.

In a WAYSTATION up ahead, ISAAC comes across BUCKELL, who is FREEZING TO DEATH.

AUSTIN BUCKELL

Isaac! I was about to write you a message with my blood, as is customary for these games.

ISAAC CLARKE

Where are the others?

AUSTIN BUCKELL

They found thermal suits and went ahead to the archeology compound. There weren't enough suits for everyone, so I just decided to hang.

ISAAC CLARKE

Why didn't you just power up the generator? It's right there.

AUSTIN BUCKELL

I would've, but somebody decided that you need a kinesis module to do that.

ISAAC CLARKE

And none of the others powered it up for you when they got their suits?

AUSTIN BUCKELL

They're assholes like that.

(dies)

After determining that BUCKELL'S CORPSE cannot be STOMPED ON, ISAAC moves on to the ARCHEOLOGY COMPOUND.

INT. ARCHEOLOGY COMPOUND - TAU VOLANTIS

Once inside, ISAAC finds the OTHERS.

ELLIE LANGFORD

Isaac, you're alive!

ROBERT NORTON

How dare you acknowledge his survival! You obviously still have a thing for him!

(shoves Isaac)

ISAAC CLARKE

Seriously, what do you see in this absolute douchenozzle? Everybody's wondering.

ELLIE LANGFORD

For one, he doesn't throw all the presents I give him on the ground and stomp on them while cursing!

ISAAC CLARKE

THAT'S HOW I OPEN THINGS!

JENNIFER SANTOS

Let's maybe focus on the mission, guys. I found a way to locate the Machine, but the process is even more convoluted than what we're used to in these games.

ISAAC CLARKE

I'm good as long as I don't have to drive a needle through my eye.

JENNIFER SANTOS

We need to craft a harpoon gun, enter the body cavity of this giant Necromorph called the Nexus, and fire harpoons at its nerve clusters so we can track the Machine's signal. Yes, I kept a straight face through all of that.

ROBERT NORTON

Fine. Isaac, you go risk life and limb to do all that. I'll protect Ellie while insisting that we all just abandon the mission and get out of here.

ISAAC CLARKE

That's not exactly making you look better, dude.

While venturing OUTSIDE, they are ATTACKED by UNITOLOGISTS. ISAAC is separated YET AGAIN.

ISAAC CLARKE

Oh no, they've found us somehow!

JOHN CARVER

Hey, at least be glad you can land some headshots for once.

ISAAC CLARKE

Oh hey, I see you also know that trick where you cleanly shear off a limb by stomping on it.

JOHN CARVER

Actually, there's no trick to it. The human body in the Dead Space universe isn't made up of meat and bone, but strawberry pudding and balsa wood.

After fighting his way past the UNITOLOGISTS, ISAAC crafts the HARPOON GUN and walks up to the NEXUS NECROMORPH.

JENNIFER SANTOS

Okay, now just get inside that thing and shoot at its nerve clusters. Don't worry, it's quite dead.

ISAAC CLARKE

Saying that a Necromorph is dead doesn't exactly inspire confidence. Have you been paying attention?

ISAAC is lowered into the NEXUS, where he reenacts INNERSPACE, except with more SCREAMING MUTANT CORPSES in it.

JENNIFER SANTOS

Good job! The signal's coming from underneath an old research compound on top of the ridge, Isaac. Considering it's the only other landmark around here, it would've been our next stop anyway. We'll already head over there.

ISAAC CLARKE

Why do you guys insist on never waiting around for me?

EXT. ARCHEOLOGY COMPOUND - TAU VOLANTIS

As soon as ISAAC heads OUTSIDE, his HELMET starts FOLDING UP.

ISAAC CLARKE

Oh fuck no. That means --

ISAAC is AMBUSHED by JACOB DANIK and a couple of UNITOLOGIST SOLDIERS.

JACOB DANIK

Here he is. The Marker killer Isaac Clarke. Jesus, what a fucking tongue twister that is.

ISAAC CLARKE

How did you find us?

JACOB DANIK

Norton made a deal with me and led us to the Marker homeworld in exchange for his life. Good thing I've been constantly wearing this winter outfit just in case it was an ice planet.

ROBERT NORTON

Don't act all surprised, betrayal has pretty much been a common thread throughout this whole series. This game even betrays its predecessors with its action shooter focus.

PUBLISHER ELECTRONIC ARTS

That's right, it's all a meta commentary, ha ha!

JACOB DANIK

(points a gun at Norton)

In that case, allow me to betray you as well.

ROBERT NORTON

How surprising!

Right before DANIK manages to EXECUTE NORTON, a NEXUS NECROMORPH shows up.

NEXUS NECROMORPH

I'M ACTUALLY A DIFFERENT NEXUS THAN THE ONE YOU PROBED EARLIER! SUBVERSION!

While DANIK escapes, ISAAC briefly fights the NEXUS before he is SUCKED INSIDE ITS GIANT MAW.

ISAAC CLARKE

I really hope this is what's supposed to happen and not some overly elaborate death animation.

After DESTROYING all the GLOWY BITS inside its STOMACH, ISAAC is EXPUNGED by the DYING NEXUS.

ISAAC CLARKE

None of that was okay.

ROBERT NORTON

Thank you for saving my life twice, Isaac. Now I'm going to kill you for caring about the fate of all humanity!

ISAAC CLARKE

Seriously, you must be the most unsympathetic character of this whole franchise, and there have been some stinkers.

ROBERT NORTON

Wait, I just thought of something! Maybe my irrational douchebaggery is really a result of the Marker influence amplifying my unresolved emotional insecurities to sabotage our mission! All I need is one of those conceptual battles inside the mind!

ISAAC CLARKE

Nope, that's only reserved for those with the necessary intellectual aptitude.

ROBERT NORTON

Great, so I'm more an idiot than a douchebag.

ISAAC CLARKE

This one goes out to all the guys who can't stand their exes having new boyfriends!

ISAAC shoots NORTON in the FACE. Further up the RIDGE, he meets up with ELLIE and SANTOS.

ELLIE LANGFORD

Wait, where's Robert? I miss his belligerent possessiveness towards me.

ISAAC CLARKE

I shot him, Ellie. I shot him right in the face. I had no choice.

JOHN CARVER

Isaac, you're being vague for absolutely no reason. Tell her the whole story.

ISAAC CLARKE

Okay fine. Ellie, I also stomped off all his limbs and punted his head into a chasm.

JOHN CARVER

No, I mean tell her about how he sold us all out to Danik. Oh wait, the cutscene is ending.

(disappears)

JENNIFER SANTOS

Ellie, you don't seem to be having any sort of emotional response. Do you want me to do that for you too?

(beat)

We're all that's left now! We're gonna die! Waaah!

ISAAC CLARKE

Let's just keep moving. You guys get in that rickety elevator and I'll scale the treacherous cliff so I can use the 200-year-old winch to pull you up.

ISAAC scales the CLIFF WALL and winches up the ELEVATOR. Right before SANTOS gets out, the ELEVATOR is ATTACKED by a CRAB NECROMORPH that looks like it came straight out of LOST PLANET.

JENNIFER SANTOS

Oh God, someone help me! Not you, Ellie. You just keep standing there. Isaac, you specifically help me!

JOHN CARVER

That thing is going to collapse the whole cliff face! We have to cut the winch!

ISAAC CLARKE

No, don't! I'm way too guilt-prone for something like that!

CARVER uses an AXE to CUT THE WINCH, causing the ELEVATOR to PLUMMET down the CLIFF FACE.

JENNIFER SANTOS

I blame you for that and everything else, Isaac!

(dies)

JOHN CARVER

Whelp, my work here is done. See you in the next cutscene, guys.

(disappears)

ISAAC CLARKE

I better go pack my bags for this guilt trip.

ELLIE LANGFORD

There was nothing you could've done, Isaac. It was a cutscene.

ISAAC CLARKE

Ellie, I'm sorry I didn't help you find the Markers. I was being such a wuss, letting the unspeakable horrors of the previous games have any sort of adverse effect on my psyche at all.

ELLIE LANGFORD

That's right, all you need to cure posttraumatic stress disorder is to confront the very horrors that caused it and then stop having it!

Eventually, ISAAC and ELLIE find and enter the RESEARCH COMPOUND.

INT. RESEARCH COMPOUND - TAU VOLANTIS

Once inside, they find SEVERAL LABORATORIES.

ELLIE LANGFORD

According to these logs, the key to turning off the Machine is a Codex that was being researched by Rosetta.

ISAAC CLARKE

Let's just skip the part where we idiotically assume Rosetta is a person, okay? I mean, come on. Rosetta.

ELLIE LANGFORD

Fine.

(beat)

Gasp! Rosetta is actually an alien they were experimenting on! It holds the secret to the Machine!

ISAAC CLARKE

Great, where is it?

ELLIE LANGFORD

It was being kept on ice, but apparently Damien Hirst got his hands on it and cut it into slabs. They're scattered all over the place.

ISAAC retrieves ALL THE SLABS and REASSEMBLES ROSETTA.

ISAAC CLARKE

Oh, so this is what all that unnecessary moving shit in the main menu represents. Okay, now how do we get the Codex out of it?

ELLIE LANGFORD

Just activate that switch and you should get a bloodcurdling vision of its fate.

After ACTIVATING ROSETTA, ISAAC is KNOCKED DOWN by a VISION of AN ENTIRE ALIEN CIVILISATION being CONSUMED by a MARKER.

ISAAC CLARKE

Oh my God, we had it all wrong! This isn't the Marker homeworld. These aliens found the Markers just like us and were consumed by it to form this planet's moon, which is actually a massive Necromorph!

ELLIE LANGFORD

Isaac.

ISAAC CLARKE

The aliens built the Machine and used it to freeze the entire planet, which stopped the Moon from fully forming and the process from starting everywhere else the Markers have spread!

ELLIE LANGFORD

Isaac!

ISAAC CLARKE

The Moon wants to be made whole, which is why it uses the Markers to manipulate people into turning off the Machine! But we can use this Codex to finish the Machine, which will kill the Moon!

ELLIE LANGFORD

ISAAC!

ISAAC CLARKE

What?

ISAAC gets up and sees DANIK pointing a GUN at him. He TAKES the CODEX.

ISAAC CLARKE

Oh right, I forgot he tends to just randomly show up.

JACOB DANIK

That's a lot of revelations you just stacked on top of each other, Isaac. We usually like to space them out a bit.

ISAAC CLARKE

What do you want with the Codex, Danik? You don't even know how it works.

JACOB DANIK

If I use the Codex on the Machine, I get what I want. If you use it, you get what you want. Don't try to make any sense of it beyond that.

ISAAC CLARKE

Why don't we just get Giorgio A. Tsoukalos in here to constantly yell "Aliens!"

JACOB DANIK

Now this would be the third time I have you at gunpoint. I'm not going to waste my time with talk again, I assure you. I am capable of learning from my mistakes, which is something you should consider doing as well, Isaac. You see, at several points in life, a man may --

ISAAC CLARKE

Dude, I activated the gas that eats your face like a full minute ago.

JACOB DANIK

Oh bugger.

DANIK ESCAPES with the CODEX while the GAS starts VENTING into the LABORATORY.

ELLIE LANGFORD

Isaac, we're going to suffocate!

ISAAC CLARKE

Don't worry, the gas somehow has the properties of fire, so it only affects you if you touch it!

ISAAC makes it to the EXIT.

ISAAC CLARKE

Ellie, come on!

ELLIE LANGFORD

Honestly, why bother? I'm such a shiftless character now. I'm just going to stay here and die. Isaac, I love you or whatever.

ISAAC CLARKE

Ow, my guilt!

After CLOSING THE DOOR on ELLIE, ISAAC pursues DANIK, who left A HELPFUL TRAIL OF FLARES for some reason.

INT. ALIEN RUINS - TAU VOLANTIS

ISAAC enters THE ALIEN RUINS, where he retrieves the CODEX from DANIK by RANDOMLY FALLING INTO HIM.

ISAAC CLARKE

Wait, now there's nobody left to tell me what to do.

GIORGIO A. TSOUKALOS

I believe I can be of assistance. To prepare the Machine, you'll have to head for one end of the ruins, arrange some weird pylons in a certain way, go all the way to the other end, activate a thing, retrace your steps back to the pylons, arrange them another way, and then find the Machine in the centre of it all. You'll have to fight a lot of Necromorphs for most of it. Aliens, man.

JOHN CARVER

And it's all gameplay, so I'll just meet up with you at the end.

After doing ALL THAT and eventually reaching THE MACHINE, ISAAC finds DANIK holding ELLIE at GUNPOINT.

ISAAC CLARKE

Ellie, you're alive!

ELLIE LANGFORD

Yup, clearly not even death will stop me from being the objectified damsel in distress. I'm even down to my tank top now, even though it's supposed to be freezing up here.

JACOB DANIK

Give me the Codex and I won't kill her.

JOHN CARVER

Isaac, you've got a second chance with Ellie here. Don't let it all go dark.

ISAAC CLARKE

Why do you suddenly care more about my humanity than all of humanity? Every time you bothered to show up, you've screamed that we all should put personal feelings aside for the mission.

JOHN CARVER

Here, check out the co-op script. I've actually been having a compelling character arc. My determination to do what's necessary has left me wondering whether I'm a good man.

ISAAC CLARKE

Character arc or not, you were there when Danik went back on his deal with Norton. He's clearly demonstrated that he's an untrustworthy sack of shit.

JOHN CARVER

There's always another way to do the right thing, Isaac.

CARVER takes the CODEX and hands it over to DANIK, who uses it to SHUT DOWN the MACHINE. This AWAKENS the MOON.

JOHN CARVER

There, Ellie is safe. Now go ahead, Isaac. Find another way to stop the entire galaxy from being consumed. I'll let you take the lead on that one.

ISAAC CLARKE

That is a pretty fucking major group decision you just took all by yourself, Carver.

JACOB DANIK

I don't know why I still think all of this is a good thing, but it totally is!

DANIK is then IMPALED by a STALACTITE, robbing ISAAC of the SATISFACTION of KILLING HIM.

ISAAC CLARKE

Ellie, take Danik's dropship and head back to Earth. Tell everyone what happened here.

ELLIE LANGFORD

Who am I gonna tell? EarthGov's been completely toppled by Unitology according to the backstory that only I bothered to pay attention to.

ISAAC CLARKE

You must go, Ellie. No pulling a Han Solo this time. Just don't do anything that involves helping.

After ELLIE LEAVES, ISAAC faces the MOON, which is AN ENORMOUS NECROMORPH that kind of looks like OCTODAD and can therefore NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

MOON NECROMORPH

I could smoosh you with my giant tentacles or maybe just crush the Machine which I have right here. Instead, let me get a good look at you with my huge and vulnerable eyes.

ISAAC CLARKE

Peekaboo, motherfucker!

Using a FLOOR PANEL that enhances his KINESIS MODULE, ISAAC grabs THE NEARBY MARKERS and uses them to GOUGE OUT THE MOON'S EYES. This might be A REALLY WEIRD AND DIFFUSE GEORGES MÉLIÈS REFERENCE.

MOON NECROMORPH

Ack! I told the interior decorators I didn't want any Markers or one of those kinesis-enhancing panels floating around! But nooo, they said it would really tie the Moon together!

ISAAC uses SUPER KINESIS to PULL IN THE MACHINE. He activates the CODEX, which KILLS THE MOON and sends it CRASHING INTO TAU VOLANTIS. ISAAC and CARVER are PULLED DOWN IN THE DEBRIS.

ISAAC CLARKE

There, done. Trilogy over.

DEVELOPER VISCERAL GAMES

Actually, there's a bunch of other Moons all over the galaxy that have been awakened. They're now ready to consume all sufficiently advanced organic life in the galaxy.

ISAAC CLARKE

So it basically took us a trilogy to do what Mass Effect did in its first game alone? Whatever. I'm clearly falling to my death, so let someone else handle that.

DEVELOPER VISCERAL GAMES

Actually, we've got some DLC lined up, so we'll make sure you survive past the credits because aliens.

ISAAC CLARKE

GODDAMNIT!

JOHN CARVER

Isaac! You'll never guess what I found while I was just floating around and enjoying your catharsis!

ISAAC CLARKE

What?

JOHN CARVER

System Shock 2's finally been given a digital re-release!

ISAAC CLARKE

You mean --

(close to tears)

actual survival horror?

JOHN CARVER

Yes!

Unfortunately, the SYSTEM SHOCK 2 RE-RELEASE is a HALLUCINATION caused by the MOONS, who EAT MANKIND while ISAAC is OCCUPIED.

THE END