Dishonored - The Movie

The Pied Piper is tired of your shit.
The Pied Piper is tired of your shit.

FADE IN:

EXT. DUNWALL TOWER - DUNWALL

After an EXTENDED JOURNEY, ROYAL PROTECTOR CORVO ATTANO is being transported by RIVERBOAT to DUNWALL TOWER to see EMPRESS JESSAMINE KALDWIN.

CORVO ATTANO

Whoa whoa, Royal who in the Dunwhat? Run all that by me again.

RIVERBOAT PILOT

Hang on, I have a list of all the exposition I need to cram into casual conversation here. Say Corvo, did you know that this Victorian-era whalepunk city is currently suffering from a rat-borne plague? And that you were away for months trying to find a cure?

CORVO ATTANO

I would logically know all that and now I do!

RIVERBOAT PILOT

We're not beholden to any specific timeline or universe though, which is why you'll also find magic, American accents and all of Nikola Tesla's inventions everywhere.

He is dropped off and enters DUNWALL TOWER, where he runs into EMILY KALDWIN, the DAUGHTER of the EMPRESS.

CORVO ATTANO

A child! In a videogame! That always ends well.

EMILY KALDWIN

Corvo, my perhaps father! Let's transparently teach you some stealth mechanics by playing a game of hide-and-seek.

CORVO comically crouches behind a TREE.

EMILY KALDWIN

I utterly can't find you!

CORVO ATTANO

This is how stealth works? Okay, this is going to be easy.

CORVO approaches JESSAMINE, who is meeting with ROYAL SPYMASTER HIRAM BURROWS.

HIRAM BURROWS

But Empress, why will you not do the wretched and reprehensible thing I've just advised you to do?

JESSAMINE KALDWIN

So I may immediately come off as morally righteous and the one shining beacon of light during these dark times! Leave us.

BURROWS leaves SUSPICIOUSLY.

JESSAMINE KALDWIN

Oh Corvo, my bodyguard and implied lover! Have you found a cure for this horrible rat plague that has befallen my citizens?

CORVO ATTANO

I could just tell you, but I'm a silent protagonist. So I'll be as surprised as you are when you open this letter.

JESSAMINE KALDWIN

(reads letter)

Oh, there's no cure! Damn this rat plague! Honestly, I know this is a stealth game and must therefore by law include the line "it was probably just a rat," but did they have to write the entire setting around it too?

CORVO ATTANO

Also, why did it make sense for your personal bodyguard to leave your side for several months?

JESSAMINE KALDWIN

You're back now, so you may start guarding my body again.

A bunch of ASSASSINS suddenly appear and STAB JESSAMINE. They make off with EMILY, leaving NO TRACE of their PRESENCE. CORVO is CRUSHED WITH SORROW, as evidenced by VIRTUALLY NOTHING.

JESSAMINE KALDWIN

Corvo, you're -- the worst Royal Protector ever.

(dies)

HIRAM BURROWS

Corvo, what have you so obviously and unambiguously done?

CORVO is ARRESTED and taken to COLDRIDGE PRISON.

INT. COLDRIDGE PRISON - DUNWALL

Six months later, CORVO is being TORTURED while BURROWS looks on.

HIRAM BURROWS

Yes, my plan to let you take the fall for the Empress' murder worked perfectly! I feel comfortable saying that because you will surely be executed tomorrow without any interference whatsoever.

HIGH OVERSEER THADDEUS CAMPBELL enters.

THADDEUS CAMPBELL

Hiram, are you gloating without me? I told you to wait! Haw haw, sucks to be you, Corvo!

(blows raspberry)

HIRAM BURROWS

Hang on, I'm going to grow a moustache so that I may twirl it.

THADDEUS CAMPBELL

Anybody got a spare eyepatch?

CORVO is brought back to his CELL, where a GUARD sets him FREE.

CORVO ATTANO

Aha! Time to exact bloody vengeance for being

(stares directly into camera)

stripped of my honor!

After leaving all the GUARDS without their FACES and ESCAPING into the SEWER, CORVO finds a LOCKED SAFE with a THREE DIGIT COMBINATION.

CORVO ATTANO

This is the first code in the game, right? I don't even need to look around for it, it's obviously going to be 451. It's like a password to get into the secret immersive sim clubhouse.

At the SEWER EXIT, CORVO meets SAMUEL BEECHWORTH.

SAMUEL BEECHWORTH

Hey Corvo. I'll be that one guy who ferries the hero around but usually doesn't get more character development than that.

SAMUEL takes CORVO to the HOUND PITS PUB.

INT. HOUND PITS PUB - DUNWALL

CORVO is introduced to ADMIRAL FARLEY HAVELOCK and TREAVOR PENDLETON.

FARLEY HAVELOCK

Welcome, Corvo. We are the Loyalists. Not the most original name, but it sure as fuck beats "the Resistance."

TREAVOR PENDLETON

Burrows is now the Lord Regent. We want to find Emily and put her on the throne, because if anyone is going to rule Dunwall, it should be a ten-year-old girl.

FARLEY HAVELOCK

You must be tired, Corvo. Go upstairs and get some rest. Feel free to break into every room on the way there and invade our privacy. I left my diary open in case you want to read it.

TREAVOR PENDLETON

Steal all our earthly possessions if you like.

CORVO goes upstairs and has THE WEIRDEST NAP EVER.

EXT. THE VOID

CORVO is TRANSPORTED to THE VOID, the domain of THE OUTSIDER.

THE OUTSIDER

Greetings, Corvo. I'm basically the G-Man, except I look like I came out of a Twilight movie.

CORVO ATTANO

The G-Man, eh? Fitting, given that your domain looks a lot like Xen. I assume I'm going to have to tediously jump across these floating platforms?

THE OUTSIDER

Nope, I'm imbuing you with magic powers, the first of which is a short-range teleportation power called Blink. Tutorial time!

CORVO ATTANO

Wait a minute. I failed to protect the woman I perhaps loved because the perpetrators used abilities that drastically outmatched mine, and now I've been granted those abilities myself in order to go after them. Are we lifting our inciting incident wholesale out of Deus Ex: Human Revolution?

THE OUTSIDER

Pretty much. But don't worry about the Empress, her heart will be with you always.

(beat)

Like, literally. I have it right here. Take it, and it will offer you all the embellished exposition and social commentary we couldn't subtly fit in anywhere else.

THE HEART

I also flesh out a character that had maybe a minute of screen time before she was murdered.

THE OUTSIDER

It will be fascinating to see how you use your new powers. You fascinate me, Corvo. You're so dreamy. Like the way you brutally murdered all the guards during your escape from prison. Riveting stuff.

CORVO ATTANO

Yeah, the marketing has billed me as a supernatural assassin. I thought --

THE OUTSIDER

And it's totally fine that you did that! Just saying that you could've also not done that.

CORVO ATTANO

Oh no, a morality system based on how many people I kill? Good thing this is only a nightmare.

CORVO wakes and finds THE MARK OF THE OUTSIDER on his HAND.

CORVO ATTANO

Motherfucker.

INT. HOUND PITS PUB - DUNWALL

HAVELOCK and PENDLETON give CORVO his MISSION.

TREAVOR PENDLETON

You have been falsely accused of the Empress' murder, Corvo. Surely you can prove your innocence by murdering everyone even remotely involved with the coup.

FARLEY HAVELOCK

Yes, murdering! You can toss around explosive whale oil containers, attach razor traps to rats and then walk them over to people, make guards shoot themselves and their friends, freeze time and casually slice their faces off, rewire security systems to incinerate everyone but you, summon rat swarms that devour people alive, blast them off ledges and into walls with a wave of your hand --

CORVO ATTANO

Just out of curiosity, what are my options if I don't want to kill anyone?

FARLEY HAVELOCK

Sleep darts and a choke hold. But as I was saying, there's also this really cool trick where you can jump on someone's head and cushion your fall by slicing open their throat!

TREAVOR PENDLETON

Your first target is Thaddeus Campbell, the High Overseer. And be sure to retrieve his black book. It will tell us where Emily is being held.

CORVO ATTANO

Oh, there's no need. I already saw that she's being held by the Pendleton twins in this diorama as part of a dream with floating rocks.

TREAVOR PENDLETON

(beat)

Maybe just get the black book. Just to be sure and all.

EXT. CLAVERING BOULEVARD - DUNWALL

CORVO passes a CITY GUARD CHECKPOINT on his way to the OFFICE OF THE HIGH OVERSEER.

GUARD #1

I'm going to hang out by this volatile canister of highly explosive whale oil.

GUARD #2

Alright, I'll be leaning over that precarious ledge there if you need me.

CORVO reluctantly SNEAKS PAST THEM. He enters a CONDEMNED HOUSE and finds GRANNY RAGS muttering to herself.

CORVO ATTANO

Hey, are you being voiced by Susan Sarandon?

GRANNY RAGS

Yep, her first voice acting role for a game and she gets to be a crusty old rat witch. Now, I have a rune for you, which you can use to upgrade your powers. All I ask in return is that you infect the Bottle Street Gang distillery with the plague.

CORVO ATTANO

But that will surely result in more deaths, which I can't have.

GRANNY RAGS

Oh no, you'll only be indirectly responsible, which is totally okay. Gotta love a mechanically quantified morality.

Eventually, CORVO enters the OFFICE OF THE HIGH OVERSEER.

INT. OFFICE OF THE HIGH OVERSEER - DUNWALL

CORVO is on his way to find CAMPBELL.

CORVO ATTANO

Okay, I know I shouldn't go around wantonly killing everyone, but surely the game won't begrudge me killing the High Overseer, right? That is my mission objective after all. I don't have a choice in the matter!

While SHARPENING his BLADE, CORVO sneaks by TWO OVERSEERS.

OVERSEER #1

Hey, it's been a while since I've casually mentioned the Heretic's Brand.

OVERSEER #2

You mean the punishment one can give any Overseer by burning a mark on their face and turning them into a social outcast, thus rendering them dead in the eyes of the world?

OVERSEER #1

Yeah, that. I trust the brand is still stored in the library right over there?

OVERSEER #2

Of course! Now let's go stand by that arc pylon and hope no one is going to rewire it.

CORVO ATTANO

Oh, come fucking on!

After NON-LETHALLY DEALING with CAMPBELL and STEALING his BLACK BOOK, CORVO returns to the HOUND PITS PUB.

INT. HOUND PITS PUB - DUNWALL

CORVO meets PIERO JOPLIN, an INVENTOR working for the LOYALISTS. He is voiced by BRAD DOURIF, which makes him SO GODDAMN CREEPY.

PIERO JOPLIN

I can create and upgrade your tools for you. You still have to pay me though. For the cause!

CORVO ATTANO

Ah, I see that you can increase my dart carrying capacity. I hope I don't have to go around skinning tapir hides for that.

PIERO JOPLIN

That upgrade only applies to regular darts, not sleep darts.

CORVO ATTANO

Could everyone just stop encouraging me to kill?

FARLEY HAVELOCK

Corvo, we think there are some weepers in the sewer. These are citizens in the final stages of the plague and cannot be saved. Their fate has been sealed. Go deal with them. I'm not saying kill them! Just -- you know. You pick.

CORVO heads into the SEWER and encounters a WEEPER, who looks like DEATH WARMED OVER.

WEEPER

I am but a hollow shell, a mere shadow of my former self. My entire being begs the sweet mercy of your blade.

(doubles over vomiting)

CORVO ATTANO

I'd love to help you out by killing you, but I'm going for a non-lethal playthrough.

WEEPER

You absolute monster.

CORVO ATTANO

Allow me to show you some sympathy by giving you a hug. On the neck. From behind.

CORVO knocks out the WEEPER and returns to HAVELOCK and PENDLETON.

FARLEY HAVELOCK

Great, we'll ask you to do that again when he wakes up tomorrow. Now, we've learned from Campbell's black book that Emily is being held by the Pendleton twins at the Golden Cat brothel.

TREAVOR PENDLETON

They are also your next target, Corvo. I might seem emotionally unaffected by ordering you to kill my brothers, but I assure you, behind this rudimentary facial expression system stands a broken man.

EXT. DISTILLERY - DUNWALL

On his way to THE GOLDEN CAT, CORVO is asked to go see SLACKJAW, leader of THE BOTTLE STREET GANG.

SLACKJAW

I have a subquest for you, Corvo.

CORVO ATTANO

Ooh goody, I could use another rune.

SLACKJAW

No, your reward is a non-lethal way of dealing with the Pendleton twins.

CORVO ATTANO

FUCK! I mean, go ahead, tell me.

SLACKJAW

I'll kidnap them, disfigure them, and put them to work in their own slave mines.

CORVO ATTANO

What poetic justice! I suppose getting to see that will be satisfying too.

SLACKJAW

No, me saying I'm going to do that is all you get. You'll literally have to take my word for it.

INT. GOLDEN CAT - DUNWALL

CORVO infiltrates THE GOLDEN CAT. He overhears THE PENDLETON TWINS being MASSIVE PRICKS and only narrowly manages to STAY HIS BLADE. In one of the UPSTAIRS ROOMS, he finds EMILY.

EMILY KALDWIN

Corvo, finally! I've been wearing this same dress for six months. It's starting to reek.

EMILY runs down to the EXIT DOOR, where she suddenly DISAPPEARS.

CORVO ATTANO

Oh my God, she just blinked! That means the Outsider has visited her too!

EMILY KALDWIN

No, I don't have an animation for opening the door so I just clipped right through it to indicate that I've been rescued.

THE OUTSIDER

Psh, like I'd visit her. I don't see how anyone could be fascinated by her character.

CORVO ATTANO

Isn't she designed to take after my character?

THE OUTSIDER

(beat)

Sooo dreamy.

(vanishes)

CORVO returns to the HOUND PITS PUB.

FARLEY HAVELOCK

Well done, Corvo. Your next target is Anton Sokolov, the Royal Physician. We need him alive so he can tell us who Burrows' mistress is. He painted a portrait of her ass once, because that's the progression of clues we're going with here.

EXT. KALDWIN'S BRIDGE - DUNWALL

When passing underneath THE BRIDGE, CORVO is attacked by RIVER KRUSTS.

DEVELOPER ARKANE STUDIOS

Since every game needs at least one insufferably annoying bastard enemy, here's a bunch of overgrown acid-spitting molluscs!

CORVO ATTANO

I don't care, at least I can kill these things without someone tutting over my shoulder!

Eventually, CORVO reaches SOKOLOV in his STUDY.

ANTON SOKOLOV

Bwuaah, did Piero send you? For the last time, I'm the greatest genius inventor who ever lived!

CORVO ATTANO

So the recent disappearance of those closest to the Lord Regent is tied to a masked not-assassin who now stands before you, and your first response is to suspect a personal rivalry?

ANTON SOKOLOV

The genius part of my genius inventor character manifests itself as a giant ego, apparently.

CORVO knocks out SOKOLOV and brings him to THE HOUND PITS PUB, where he is BRUTALLY INTERROGATED using either RATS OR LIQUOR.

FARLEY HAVELOCK

It would appear that your next target is Lady Boyle, who is funding the Lord Regent's military. She's throwing a decadent party at her mansion. You should be able to blend in, everyone will think you're just doing some Corvo cosplay.

INT. BOYLE MANSION - DUNWALL

The PARTY is attended by UPPER CLASS TWITS. LADY BOYLE addresses her GUESTS.

LADY BOYLE

Please enjoy yourselves at each other's expense and act in as conceited and snooty a manner as possible. Make sure your disregard for the plague victims and the plight of our city knows no bounds. If someone were to murder us all in gruesomely creative ways, let's make sure we have it coming.

CORVO walks around and meets LORD BRISBY.

LORD BRISBY

I know all about your mission, Corvo, but please don't be suspicious as to how. If you bring me Lady Boyle unconscious, I will take care of her for you. Forever and ever.

CORVO ATTANO

Oh, so killing her is frowned upon, but condemning her to a life of imprisonment and implied rape is all well and good? I am such a morally upstanding guy.

After handing over LADY BOYLE to LORD BRISBY, CORVO returns to the HOUND PITS PUB. He is then tasked with GOING AFTER BURROWS.

EMILY KALDWIN

I'll be right over here if you want to connect with me on any sort of level, Corvo!

INT. DUNWALL TOWER - DUNWALL

CORVO infiltrates DUNWALL TOWER and finds BURROWS speaking with a GUARD.

HIRAM BURROWS

For the last time, you don't get your own squad! Just be on your guard tonight. The masked not-assassin might try to get in here.

GUARD

Isn't that him right there, sir?

BURROWS looks over his SHOULDER and sees CORVO peeking out from a CORNER.

HIRAM BURROWS

Oh no, he's leaning, that means we can't see him. Carry on.

GUARD

But he's right there!

HIRAM BURROWS

I know, I know, but we all agreed to this rule for some reason.

GUARD

Urgh, fine. IT WAS PROBABLY ALL THE RATS!

The GUARD LEAVES and CORVO walks up to BURROWS. He removes his MASK but still retains his ZOOM FUNCTION somehow.

HIRAM BURROWS

Corvo! Who would've thought that the highly capable masked not-assassin who appeared out of nowhere a few days ago was in fact the highly capable bodyguard who managed to escape from prison a few days ago!

CORVO ATTANO

You didn't even figure it out until now and I've been specifically targeting the members of the conspiracy that put me away!

HIRAM BURROWS

I suppose you're here to jam your sword into my shoulder, spin me around and grab my head, break my neck and then forcefully remove the sword, all in glorious slow motion?

CORVO ATTANO

That would be suitably cathartic, so no.

HIRAM BURROWS

Oh, then you'll of course want the full confession of all my crimes I keep in my safe. The confession in which I label all citizens of Dunwall as worthless peons only suited for subjugation.

CORVO ATTANO

And you used to be the Royal Spymaster? I'm beginning to think that anyone with the word "Royal" in their title sucks at their job.

HIRAM BURROWS

Where do you think the expression "to royally fuck up" comes from?

CORVO leaves BURROWS and BROADCASTS his CONFESSION to all of DUNWALL.

INT. HOUND PITS PUB - DUNWALL

CORVO celebrates his VICTORY with the LOYALISTS.

FARLEY HAVELOCK

Right, I suppose that's it. We've won. Cue credits, I guess.

CORVO ATTANO

Wait wait, we can't end things here! People are already bitching that the game is too short! Granted, only the morons playing it as a straight shooter are complaining, but still!

FARLEY HAVELOCK

Uhh -- I suppose we could betray you so you may serve as a scapegoat in case our actions are seen as objectionable, even though Burrows already turned himself into one when you broadcast his confession to all of Dunwall.

CORVO ATTANO

That makes no sense, especially since absolutely no one was smart enough to figure out that I am the masked not-assassin. I even overheard incidental chatter that indicates people think the not-assassin is a weeper, so we could also plant the mask on a dead plague victim. You can't betray me until you think of a better reason.

FARLEY HAVELOCK

We did already obviously poison your drink.

SAMUEL BEECHWORTH

Don't worry, Corvo. I got some sudden character development so I only put in half the poison. Now it'll only make you bleed out of your ass.

EXT. FLOODED DISTRICT - DUNWALL

SAMUEL leaves CORVO floating in a RAFT, which is then CHANCED UPON by the ASSASSINS who killed the EMPRESS, because THAT'S THE SEGUE WE'RE GOING WITH HERE. The ASSASSINS are led by DAUD.

CORVO ATTANO

You're the one who murdered the Empress! I'm going to not kill you so hard!

DAUD

I have also been touched by the Outsider, so I have the same powers as you.

CORVO ATTANO

Really? Does he also regularly pay you visits and yammer on and on about how darn intriguing you are?

DAUD

Oh my God, constantly! I sometimes don't even pick up runes because I know he's going to appear and spout more cryptic bullshit.

ASSASSIN

What shall we do with him, sir?

DAUD

Well, he can jump three stories high, teleport short distances and freeze time. So put him in a shallow pit and cover it with a few boards of fragile wood, that ought to do it.

ASSASSIN

Should we perhaps guard the pit?

DAUD

Just wander around without ever looking at it directly.

CORVO of course ESCAPES and sneaks past the ASSASSINS.

CORVO ATTANO

So I'm not going to kill you guys, but you know what happens when I possess you, right?

ASSASSIN

Yeah, we vomit profusely afterwards.

CORVO ATTANO

And what are you all wearing?

ASSASSIN

Gas masks.

(beat)

Oh you son of a bitch.

CORVO POSSESSESS all the ASSASSINS and then KNOCKS THEM OUT. He CONFRONTS DAUD.

CORVO ATTANO

Daud! Prepare to get the shit forgiven out of you!

DAUD

Good, that means you get to listen to me repent for five whole minutes!

After ENDURING DAUD'S ENDLESS REGRETS, CORVO leaves THE FLOODED DISTRICT.

CORVO ATTANO

Okay, now to go after the people who've betrayed me and basically rinse and repeat the first half of the story.

GRANNY RAGS

Wait! Since you seem to be haphazardly stumbling into the plot threads that still need to be resolved, I'm going to boil and eat Slackjaw over here!

SLACKJAW

Two plot threads with one stone!

EXT. KINGSPARROW FORT - DUNWALL

CORVO works his way into KINGSPARROW FORT and finds HAVELOCK talking to his FELLOW CONSPIRATORS, who are ALL DEAD.

FARLEY HAVELOCK

I knew you were coming, Corvo, so I took the liberty of killing everyone else for you.

CORVO ATTANO

Gee thanks.

FARLEY HAVELOCK

I won't fight you either. The key to Emily's room is right there.

CORVO slightly edges towards THE KEY.

FARLEY HAVELOCK

How dare you actually take the key when I point it out to you? Have at you!

HAVELOCK suddenly starts to ATTACK, but CORVO shoots a SLEEP DART into his EYE.

CORVO ATTANO

Still counts as non-lethal!

He then FREES EMILY.

EMILY KALDWIN

You did it, Corvo! Now I will lead Dunwall into a new age of prosperity!

CORVO ATTANO

But the plague is still ravaging the city. Dead bodies are being dumped by the trainload and rats scurry and fester in every --

EMILY KALDWIN

No, plague got cured. Not killing people cures plagues apparently.

CORVO ATTANO

Oh very good. Excuse me for a second.

EMILY KALDWIN

Where are you going?

CORVO ATTANO

Just -- out.

EMILY KALDWIN

You're going back to replay the game and kill everyone, aren't you?

CORVO ATTANO

EEEEEVERYONE!

THE END

Further reading: 

Comments

Been coming here for about a year now. Your scripts are among the funniest and most insightful game-story critiques I've found on the internet. Thank you for doing what you do.

I lost my shit at Corvo waking up to the mark on his hand. Well done, well done indeed.

Excellent script! Before first playthrough: "Time to be a merciful dispenser of justice, protecting my charge and saving the city." After first playthrough: "Murder time, fun time!"

Lost it at the granny rags and slackjaw part. Ps as of today i have played dishonored for 250 hours!

"Oh, if only I could talk an explain all these people I didn't kill her before they take me to prison..." - Corvo Attano

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